Quarter of Century

5:01 PM


Falling off of a boat on a weekend getaway, together with all my stuffs including my camera and phone. As a result, my phone is dead, the camera as well. Scratches on my hand and on my left ankle. But after that, I am grateful for felling off from the harbour at Thousan Island and not at the harbour (Muara Angke) in Jakarta. If you've been to the harbour in Jakarta, you know what I mean. After that, I spend one month without phone and that was the most peaceful time in my entire 2015. Thank God!

After getting a new phone, turning it on then kinda wishing on getting messages from anyone, looking for me, asking where I've been. The funny things, no Messages, nobody cares, nobody asks where I've been, nobody misses me, maybe nobody even realize I've been in a hiatus for a month (a month only after all, not too long) and I feel totally fine. The other funny thing, some people asking how does it feel to live without smartphone? Fine, I guess. It is peaceful and I kinda like it, but they don't buy it. Hahaha. Life without smartphone for one month and I see life better, I appreciate people and incidents around me by being in the moment. Now my phone is back and I am a little afraid, I will be back to that habit, digital-generation habit. We'll see.

I realize that I always have that cool and interesting job. So one day, among my daily office life at the Goethe-Institut, I was assigned to be a guide for a group containing 19 game developer from Germany. That one day I was on and off the bus in a very hot day in Jakarta, ended up with a headache. My boss said to me "I never see you this weak, my dear, you should go home and take a good rest". Then I went home with a taxi, the headache was super tight that I throw up in the taxi, so embarassing. After arriving home, go straight to bed and couldn't stop crying because of the headache then sleeping until the next day and Forget about the work. It was Monday night, by the way. Yes, this kind of thing also happening at least once in every one big event.

Now, I wanted to tell you about my weekend routine. The only thing I do on Saturday night: lying on my bed watching television after five hours of a German Class. This routines will last until December, but guess I don't mind.

For how Long you've been doing what you're doing? I counted it back, I guess I've doing what am doing for three years (if those volunteering days count, then it must be 6 years. Quite long.). Then one day my boss told a story, "My friends asking, 'after going through such a trouble for one big event, how are you?' It's so funny that it took a while before I answered. So funny that I don't know what to feel anymore, how we suppose to feel towards ourselves". Now am trying to remember, I guess it's slowly happening to me too, forgetting how to feel over things. The only Feeling that I could feel is the stress and the feelings follow. I still haven't figured out how to handle that one yet. When it attacked, my world crumbled into despair and misery. It's just part of growing up, right? (Justification) We must to feel it once or twice a year so the next year we can smile over it and to be proud that we're survive, right? For the sake of become someone better. I guess.

"I'm a working girl you know. I'll fend attention off; I keep to myself" God Help the Girl - God Help the Girl

Welcome to age 25, Lisna!

(Photo by Happy Huimassa. Location: Tanah Lot, Bali)

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