Three O'Clock in the Morning

3:29 AM

First of all, I have to warn you that this is just a random thought at three o'clock in the morning. You don't have to read it. Because somehow maybe it's not important or just waste your time.

Hey, why do you still read this? Shoo shoo!

Okay, you are stubborn. I warned you already. I don't take any responsibility for anything you'll read here.

Last warning : some words you read here maybe not proper to use in daily conversation.

I can't sleep, no not because of insomniac or something. Not also because of works I have to do. I blame the coke I drink during the night, that caused me wide awake at three o'clock in the morning. Since I can't sleep, so I do whatever I could do. Finish my work, sending emails, spam my twitter timeline. Until I found myself stranded at Ardita's blog and read her "Being 20 Something" post.

This post slap my face. This post is like an answer for my indescribable emotions and random thoughts. From the post, it's called

Quarter Life Crisis

It is the phase where you got the confusion about yourself, your life, your future, your neighborhood, your financial, or about age itself, about you getting older. This phase is happening to people in age range 21-30. At this age, one moment you'll figure out something about yourself, but a moment later you'll totally confuse about what you're gonna do in the next two or three year. Will you get any better or just being the exactly same you like today, or (too bad) become worse. Then you realize and shame that you even think and start to worry about some stupid nonsense shits.

That's exactly what's happening to me right now. This is only one me, but I don't know where the courage (if I'm to scare to call it as stupidity) to take these many responsibility. Four things at the same time have to finish by one me. Then I start worrying that I'll never finish them all. Then I start thinking about leave my movie organization once my event done. Then I start insisting to finish my undergraduate thesis this semester but not start to write the thesis yet. I start thinking that my job is damn frustrating and start worrying about, "will it all be worth the effort I gave?"

And all of this, added with one nonsense silly and interrupting thing (but keeping me happy) : I am liking someone and all I could think is making plan to hang out with him. Rubbish. No it's not him that rubbish, this selfish thought is. This selfish feeling of hang out with him then forget anything about those four things. Total rubbish.

See, I'm in my worst Quarter Life Crisis and this random post just prove it. And it's three o'clock in the morning for God's sake!

But, don't worry my sign said that I am great in self-motivated. I will re-manage my whole life. Re-manage these four things that should be done at the same time. I will not ask God for help, I ask too much already, and because I know, I don't even have to ask, God already help me. Like always. But this time, I'll give a prove to God, to my friends, to my parents, and last to myself that I am GREAT person by finishing these four things in time.

I know I could do that. I'm good in battling with deadline.

Oh and I have a spell :

Pict : TazStyle
Inspiration : Being 20 Something by Ardita Dwi

Yes everything will be amazing in the end. And I'll be smiling after all.

Whoever read this post, be my silent witness, 'kay?

Cheers and Beer,

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  1. Siapapun yang baca, post ini nggak pake nada sedih atau depresi ya, tapi pake drama. So, pelis jangan komen "puk puk pundak" atau semacamnya.
    Tapi segala bentuk cium dan peluk akan selalu aku terima ;)